Wherever I go, there I am. They tell me that life is a journey. That implies a destination. Seems to me life is just to be. All actuality just is. My reality is a contrivance linked to the duality of the thought field. Illusion at best. Life is way too short. Suffering is mandatory in the flesh. You will die. Learn to live. Experiment! Grow! Laugh! The trick is to find contentment in the suffering. I will die. But must I die every day? Not at all...

They tell me to just write. So I am writing about not writing. Maybe this entire diatribe is just me yankin’ my rusty chain? Focus, focus, focus. Every single moment in life is worthwhile. Good, bad, or indifferent. Living in your mind’s past or your yet unforseen future is a waste of today’s time. Straddle one leg in the past, one leg in the future, you’ll be peeing on the present.

You can take the pulse of the American temperament by simply getting in your car and taking a leisurely drive. If you were to do your best to drive as close to legally perfect, (you remember, hands at 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock on the wheel-- from drivers ed) cautiously obeying the speed limit, minding your own business as your only intent is to get safely from point A to point B.

 I propose that your trip might be a white knuckle ride through the highway that stress built. Bullies in shiny tank-like SUV’s will track you down, cut you off, while angrily flipping you the bird. It’s almost as if they are hunting. These guys are the same guys that go deer hunting. They tell the wives how important it is to get back to nature, back to their hunter-gatherer roots. To once again merge with the spirits of their ancestors, and bring the meat home to feed the tribe. Men doing what men 
 need to do
 Hah! The wives can’t wait for them to leave. They all know the real reason most of these macho types go deer hunting. They go to get shit-faced and numb with alcohol, pot, coke, you name it. Back to creating the mindless mayhem reminiscent of their bullying days on the playgrounds of their misspent youth. The Bambis’ they really want, wear only a thong at worst and buck-naked at best. 
Titties and beer. If they do actually kill a deer, they were probably sittin’ in a blind in a tree along an age old deer trail. They pile apples and straw in an open clearing. When the deer come to feed, pow, pow, blam, blam! Four guys, four guns, and one helplessly dead deer. Hooray! We got one!
Women are no better on the road nowadays. In fact, many are worse! They drive the family SUV or the custom van and they feel quite safely superior to the poor sap who still drives a Taurus. These dames are yakkin’ on the cell phone, puttin’ on their lips, reachin’ for the radio dial, smokin’ a Marlboro and sippin’ on a Diet Coke, while turnin’ around and yellin’ at the brats in the back. And they are right up your six. Idiot tailgate queens of distraction.

They will cut right in front of you with no turn signal and self-righteously flip you the bird for just being alive on their f*ckin’ road. But if you signal them to pull over after they damn near caused you to crash, the little chicken shits will zip away as fast as fast as can be. Catch them at the next traffic light and try to get eye contact. I dare you. No way. Spineless then they are.

The new American sensitivity. Rude, pushy, arrogant, angry and stressed to the nines. Mannerless and brimming with spite laden intimidation. They must act just like this in the living rooms and bedrooms of their homes. Say good bye forever to please and thank you. You are in my way, and I am in a hurry. Too much to do, too many choices. Hurry up to nowhere. Angst and rage breeding compression and fear. For modern day social security, I reccomend a Louisville Slugger.

A good many of these cretins will jump out of their half-tracks and try to duke it out with you. Damn dangerous. No eye contact from you with the four backwards baseball hat wearin’ punks idling next to you and your wife. That’s what they want. The juice of their defiance is the fear in your eyes. Let’s not even bring up the Mega-Mart express check out lines. Chill out already ay? Boy, where have all the good old days gone? Never to be as simple again.

 Such a shame. America, what a country! But you know, isn’t it always the other guy? Not me. I don’t behave that way. Horseradish! Americans are the whiniest, bitchiest, spoiled brats in this new age of over consumption, GREED, the raging disease of the 21st century. Never satisfied and grateful for what they have. Gotta have more. Never enough. Simplicity is not in their vocabulary. “Easy does it” is for recovering alkies. I’m ok. You're not.
What kind of kids do we breed today? If they fidget in the classroom, we give them Ritalin. They grow up to work in dreary little cubicles. They then graduate to Prozac. If they get a little bored, straight to the internet. And the violent video games, and the assho;e pseudo reality shows what a mess! My, my, scary if you ask this observer
Just go for a little drive in your compact car. Good luck! Meanwhile, back to the present. Writer’s block gave way to a venting of my own. I cannot be judgemental. I wish to avoid the crusade. Any crusade. The best any of us can do in this day and age is to take good care of our family and friends. Not many to trust out there nowadays. My vote won’t change the status quo, let alone the course of my destiny.
It’s become a one on one situation. If I live my life in an open minded, exploratory way, chances are good I can be happy in my day. You can’t change the world. The world will change you, that’s for sure. I need to change myself and my attitude and reaction to the insanity of it all. I would vote for someone who knew nothing of politics just to get them in to find out what’s really going on. But they would be compromised, bought off, or in the real world, killed. The fish stinks from the head on down. I can only work and improve on myself. Sometimes my silence is more than golden.
It brings me some peace and serenity in an ever- increasing chaotic society. Physician, heal thyself. Religion is for those afraid to go to hell, and spend a lifetime talking to themselves and trying to convince you and I that what they believe is the god’s Sacred Truth. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.
Try that please. As the dawn unfolds upon this third millenia, many elemental changes are taking place. The human “race”, has made quantum leaps in the domain of general science. Technological miracles are taking place at a feverish clip. But if you were to condense the millions of years of our evolution into just one year, all the most important scientific discoveries would have taken place in the space of just one day.
On December 30th to be exact. The other 364 days we were but simple minded nomadic hunters, gatherers, and farmers. We have evolved considerably well in the gadget and gizmo department but woefully retarded in the humanities. Babies with nuclear bullets. Billions of years of evolution and one hundred years of the prescense of technology.
Boggles the mind. War, with all it’s death and dying over crude oil? Let them drink their bloody oil. Plenty of alternatives to go around. Only problem with this is, the patents have been bought and buried in the vaults of those very oil pushing dealers. You know who they are. You elected one of them to the U.S. presidency recently. Lotta sand over there in the Middle East. Maybe they should make glass and silicone chips.

 Certainly can’t eat the sand. My son should die over this? Don’t think so…Makes me think all of them are in cahoots. And if they are, what are you gonna do or say about it Joe? Heres some thoughts for you. Patience. Kindness. Compassion. Wisdom. God grant me the strength to overcome my own fear with faith.

Then do the work. Then do the play. Get honest with yourself and make it a daily admonition to stay that way. Why take joy in other’s suffering, when it’s really your own sense of inadequacy and funky self esteem that you need to manage to understand and control? The deeper fears you refuse to face, that drives you to do the things you do? Faith in time. Faith in honesty. Faith in yourself, because you train your mind and heart and soul to be the best person you can be. At every moment’s juncture.

Why not? Stop looking continually over your shoulder at the other fella, and look straight in the mirror. Without fear. Everyone has crosses to bear. So have you. Place your emphasis on recognizing your own shortcomings. Figure you out. No matter what it takes. All you really have to rely on is your own dilligence, your own imagination. Your will is free, is it not? Be easy on yourself. Live like today is the only day there ever will be.

 If it’s a day in pain, so be it. Pain is a given to growth. Learn to suffer pain with fortitude, that is, courage under duress. The 50-50 proposition. Happiness will come in time and more often if you allow yourself the pleasure to enjoy all the little things around you. Get in touch with your senses and deconstruct the person that you think you are. The moment calls. The moment passes. Get out of your head and into your body. Try new things. Read a book.   Shut off the damn TV, and listen to the silence.

You will hear a committee meeting in your mind, as you learn to gradually just be. Meditate. Experience the void for a change. Worry, worry, worry. Stop it. What is the sense of it? Ninety-nine percent of what you are thinking will never take place in the actual world. Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth. Listen to other people. You already know what you think you know.

We are a collective spirit. Stop cutting yourself off from the rest of us. We hurt too. We need love too. You need to be loved more than anything else this world has to offer. Paradise Lost? That is a lie. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. You are already there. Purpose of living?

To give without a price tag attached all the time. The greatest joy in life is sharing time and space with those closest to you. Stop trying to control everything and everyone. Life is absolutely random and objective. Rarely can you predict it’s outcome. Your level of serenity is in exact proportion to your level of expectation. If you pretend to foresee all outcomes you will be an unhappy camper, indeed! Expect the unexpected.

You will ultimately find out that you have no control over people, places and things. Only yourself and how you react to these phenomena. Get used to this idea. Your reality is subject to continual change. You are the conflict, emitting the energy that creates the friction and tension’s in your life. Try acceptance.

Ask for the courage to accept the things you cannot change, the strength to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference. What have you got to lose? Only your anger, your fear, and your lonliness to name but a few. Writer’s block my rear. Not today dear blog. Not today. Something’s on a roll and it isn’t me.


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